The Half Of Me You'll Never Know
by EmilieHenderson99
Summary: Things aren't always as they seem to be and sometimes the coldest souls are the ones with the most love to give. Kogan. Christmas story, I think. Enjoy xoxo!
1. Stay Away From Him

**...this may or may not be a Christmas fic! **

Groups of teens fled to the back of the locker room when a commotion sparked up in that area. With confused expressions on their faces, they let their eyes wander for the source of all the chaos. Their jaws nearly dropped to the floor when they spotted it. With complete shock, they watched as Kendall Knight, the school's most popular jock, was pinned up against the wall by some scrawny new kid. Fury leaked from his eyes as he tightened his grip on the blonde's arms.

"DON'T SAY THAT ABOUT JOANNA!" He screamed and slammed Kendall harder against the brink surface.

Kendall's eyebrows narrowed with perplexity. _Joanna? Wait...he NAMED his notebook?! _

"Get the fuck off of me you freak!" Kendall cried, trying his best to squirm away from the brunette.

"Not until you tell me where you put my notebook!"

"It's in my bag! Sheesh!" Kendall rolled his eyes and the other guy loosened his grip a little bit, "Why's that faggy looking thing so important to you anyways?" The smaller teen grabbed Kendall's arms again, his nails practically digging into the tall boy's skin.

"Sorry...sorry..." Kendall mumbled until he was let free.

The new kid walked away from the blonde, proceeding to dig through his things until he found his notebook. He smiled and traced his fingers over the pretty floral carving on its cover before grabbing his messenger bag and leaving the locker room to head home.

"What the hell was that?" James, a friend of Kendall's, asked.

Kendall shook his head, "No clue."

Carlos, another friend, ran over to the two, his eyes wide, "Are you okay?! What happened?"

Kendall nodded, "My arms are just a little sore." He mumbled, "And Logan happened." He rolled his eyes.

"Huh?"

"He must be the new kid that everyone was saying to stay away from." Carlos added.

"Wait...Logan Mitchell?" James questioned.

"Yup."

James laughed, "He's pretty tough for such a priss."

Carlos giggled and agreed, "Yeah...sorry, man, but it was kinda funny seeing a guy in a sweater vest and skinny jeans kick your ass."

Kendall chuckled a bit, "It was a shocker for sure."

James' tone got lower, "Am I the only one who thinks it's weird that he carries that stupid notebook around with him everywhere?"

"I know, right?" Kendall replied, "I called it dumb and thought it'd be funny to hide it...that's when he went all psycho on me."

"Well...I'd watch out for him. He's bad news..."

* * *

Logan made his trek home, a cold brisk wind whipping him in the face as he did so. He pulled up his hood and kept his glance on the ground; he didn't want anyone to see him or recognize him either. The brunette adjusted his bag and held a grip on its strap nervously while passing through the bad section of town. Even though it wasn't the case, he looked like an easy target on the outside. Logan checked his bag again to make sure nothing had fallen out or had been stolen during his trip. When he next look up he was stood in front of a huge building.

"Hello...?" He asked as he knocked on the door lightly. His hands were a slight blue tint from the freezing Minnesota weather. He couldn't wait to get inside and warm up a bit.

"Oh Logan! Hi!" An older women smiled brightly and pulled the tense teen in for a hug. He accepted, merely for the warmth.

"How're you Ms. Wellington?" He flashed a tiny grin and put on his most polite voice for the jolly woman.

"Great! Better now that you're he..." She was cut off by the sound of little kids cheering and running into the entry hall.

"Logie! Logie!" They called out, clinging to the older teen's leg and hugging him tightly. Logan bent over and hugged them back, smiling widely. Seeing the kids get so happy that he was visiting brightened his day.

"I brought you guys presents." He beamed, taking his bag off of his shoulders and plopping it onto the coffee table that was nearby. Out spilled colorful crochet blankets, each one hand sewn by Logan himself.

"Thank you!" A few kids squealed. Others 'ooo' and 'aaaah'ed at the pattern. Both reactions made Logan smile and hug them again. He loved those children as if they were his own.

"Would you like to stay for dinner, darling?" Ms. Welling asked sweetly, placing a hand to Logan's shoulder.

He shook his head, "Thanks for the offer, but I've gotta cook for my dad tonight."

"Aw, alright. Well...stop by whenever you'd like. The kids love it when you do."

Logan grinned and nodded as he gathered his things to go back home.

The raven-haired-teen felt chills run up his spine when he opened the door to his house. He mentally crossed his fingers that his father would be sleeping or passed out...he honestly didn't want to deal with him in a moment like this. He was so happy from previously visiting the orphanage, he knew his dad would ruin his good mood in an instant. The teen felt a small sigh of relief when he noticed his dad drunk on the couch. If he was lucky the man would sleep the rest of the day away.

Luck wasn't ever something he had, though, and that was proven right when Mr. Mitchell sat up groggily.

"The hell you doin' here, son?" He grumbled, tossing his feet over the side of the sofa to stand up.

"I live here."

"Don't talk back to me!"

"Fuck off, Dad, you're drunk." Logan growled, throwing his bag to the side of the living room and heading for the stairs. Midway through he felt a fist jam into his shoulder. He let out a yelp of pain and his keens buckled sending him down to the floor.

"I. SAID. DON'T. TALK. BACK. TO. ME."

Logan groaned loudly and ran to his room, trying to ignore his father's angry curses and slurs from outside the door. He made sure to lock it just in case too. It was moments like these when he missed his mother the most. For comfort the teen pulled out his notebook and began to read back some of the old journal entries that his mother had written down years before she passed away.

_"I love you my Logan. My little baby boy." _The last entry read.

"I love you too, Momma." The brunette mumbled to the notebook in a tiny, childlike voice.

**xoxo**

**~EMiLiE**


	2. Detention is a Confusing Place

**So I skipped school today :D**

**... and by skipped school I mean I texted my mom in the morning "can you tell the school I'm sick because I don't feel like going in" and she wrote back "lol sure".**

**Mom of the year right there! :P**

**Anyway, here's an update :)**

By the time the next day rolled around rumors had basically taken over the school about the fight between Logan and Kendall. Of course, since Kendall was immensely popular, everyone over looked the fact that he started it and proclaimed Logan as the bad guy. As the brunette walked through the halls to his first period class he got glances, ones that read _'go back to where you came from...you aren't wanted here'_. Despite his scowl, on the insides, Logan felt awful. He had a heart underneath all of his anger and it was aching in that moment.

"What the hell are you wearing, tough guy? Where's the leather jacket and spiky combat boots?" James called out from his locker, clearly trying to bug Logan. He didn't see the raven-haired-teen as a threat...he knew he was 10xs taller and stronger. He had nothing to worry about.

Logan growled and began to approach James. The pretty boy would've been dead meat by now if they weren't right outside of the principal's office, "Talking to me?" He asked.

James nodded firmly.

"I could kick your ass if I was wearing a pink tutu and tiara. My clothing style has nothing to do with my strength, dipshit."

Logan peered down at what he had worn to school...a pair of faded skinny jeans, the same he wore the day before, actually, and a long oversized sweater. His jeans were a result of not owning many other pairs of pants. The sweater was his way of hiding his secrets, though. Under the long, droopy sleeves rested old self-harm scars and bruises from his father. He'd rather look sloppy than have anyone see those two things.

James snarled and walked away, being unable to think of something clever to add. Logan noticed he fled back to Kendall and some Latino boy that he didn't know the name of. It made jealousy pang inside his body...he wanted friends like that. Ones that'd back him up and support him. He doubted that he'd ever find them, though. That'd require being friendly, and his reputation as a nice guy got shattered long ago. The only people who knew he even cared a tiny bit where the ones at the orphanage, but alas, that was a secret too.

Logan turned on his heels to continue making his way to first period, but he was stopped short by a hand being placed to his arm, "Mr. Mitchell." The voice was all too familiar, "My office...now!" The teen groaned and followed the principal into his headquarters reluctantly. The man must've heard how he was speaking to James and got upset about it. Either that or Kendall tattled over the fight.

"Logan, I'm very disappointed in your behavior." He spoke before they even sat down by his desk.

"Alright." The brunette replied very carelessly. He knew that Mr. Marcs couldn't do anything that'd change his ways, so what happened in there didn't matter to him.

"Look at me, young man. Picking fights with students everyday is unacceptable here."

Logan slowly made eye contact with his principal, clearly not enjoying that he had to, "Won't happen again." He answered shortly. He just wanted to get out of there and to his next class.

Mr. Marcs nodded, "You aren't getting off the hook, though. Detention for the rest of the week after school."

"Okay."

"Why why if it isn't Logan _Bitch_ell." A blonde with ever so familiar green orbs snickered.

Logan slammed his messenger bag onto the table in the back of the detention room and sat down, kicking his feet up onto his desk, "Real creative nickname, Ken_dork_."

"I'd say something more, but I'd rather you not go insane and try to punch my face again."

Logan dug around through his things for a cigarette, "I wasn't actually going to punch your face, blondie, I just threatened to so you'd give me back my notebook."

"Hm...why not?"

"Wouldn't wanna risk messing up such a pretty face." Logan answered simply as he lit up the white stick and puffed away.

"Ah, alright. At least that makes sense." Kendall smirked.

"Conceited are we?"

The blonde shook his head, "No, not one bit."

Logan scoffed, clearly not believing the other teen, "So where's the teacher...?"

Kendall shrugged, "I hope they come soon though and make you throw away your cigarette. It's so unhealthy for your lungs..."

"Why do you want me to throw it away, Kendall?"

"The smell bugs me." He lied.

Logan sighed skeptically, "Suure."

"Um..." Kendall looked from side to side, being uncomfortable by the awkwardness in the room, "I'm gonna...take a nap, 'kay?"

The younger teen nodded as if he could care less, "Okay...you do that."

The second Kendall began to doze off, Logan pulled out his notebook and skimmed through the pages for an entry he knew his mother added at one point. He let his fingers carefully trace over the corners of the pages while he tried to find the right one. The scent of his mother's perfume stuck to his hands and even filled the room a bit...moments later, a faint aroma of lavender was circling around him. It made the boy smile, sending memories into his mind. Moments later, he found what he was looking for...

_"Is it wrong that I think I love him? I mean, something in my gut tells me not to, but...I can't help it. He's just so compelling." _

**I like the way this chapter came out :D hopefully you did too!**

**Thanks for reading. :)**

**xoxo**

**~EMiLiE**


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